i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
