I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
How naked do you want me to be?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize