I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
