I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
