I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
