curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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