Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
