..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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