so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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