Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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