So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
