I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
