Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
