Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
