this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
