They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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