I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
