Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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