Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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