We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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