my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
