guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize