Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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