pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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