Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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