He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
smell my finger.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
