Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
