She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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