All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize