I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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