let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize