We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
