I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
