i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
