Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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