girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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