google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So apparently I’m into choking now
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