Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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