I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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