I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
