dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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