I'm drive I can fine osifer
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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