I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
