I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
