So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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