16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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