My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
