Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
