Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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