I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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