I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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