My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
