Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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