My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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