So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
