I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
