The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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