She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
