Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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