so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
