based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
