When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
