please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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