It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
