question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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